New roads

Description

This week we continued with our practical work during the play rehearsals. This was a complicated week for me, specially because I had to kind of change my character. As we continue to present our german expressionism master classes, we end this week with more knowledge of this theatre and its conventions and we were able to use them in practical work. So, I'm not crazy anymore, now I´m a creepy nice mother, but my intentions and feelings are still there.

Analysis

Again, I will analyse the whole week´s practical process of creating this new character. On tuesday, I present my work with my crazy character and Roberto told me that now I needed to be a creepy nice mother. At first I was scared and a little mad because I had to start my work all over again, but now I am enjoying the creation of this new character.

I like the way the chameleon uses only his "fingers" to support all his
 body,  similar to what I want to achieve

I decided that I wanted to stay with  my stimuli of Gollum of the hobbit because I am still using the same physicality as before but I changed of animal to a chameleon because I think it will help me to find this balance and control over my body in order to achieve this body characterisation which involves putting all my weight into my fingers. As we can se, both of these stimulus have a balance of weight and their movements are very (control over body) which will help me to achieve the staccato movements i need.

I like Gollum´s physicality as it has deformities
and also this weight balance I want to explore

Moreover, when I first was asked to change my character´s voice speed and intonation I was freaking out. I get stressed because I wasn't able to improvise what Roberto was saying to me, I was kind of lost. I also needed to explore new ways of saying things trying different intonations in each word and having a clearer view of my character. Now I am getting to like this character as I think it gives me a large amount of possibilities to explore and also it is going to be more challenging as I need to portray anger, humiliation and dishonour (as my son is fired) but at the same time I have to be nice and good but in a creepy way. I want to try an option of having the son being condescended by the mother as I will be the "good" side of the family and the uncle will be the "bad" one.




I also want to explore the articulations of my hand´s fingers. I like the character Edgar from Frankenweenie as he have long thin fingers that have the kind of effect with articulation I want to achieve. I already talked with makeup production of the play to see the possibility of me having fake long and thin fingers to achieve a better effect on my deformities, and also to explore more in my physical level.

I like the way Edgar has this creepy thin and long fingers
that allow him to have this deform and bizarre
part of his body that I can use to have a better visual impact

Finally, I want to use this face expression as
I think it will have a powerful visual effect
in the stage and it combines the nice with the creepy so its perfect for my character. Maybe I could add a creepy smile or explore more alternatives towards the different emotions my character is going through.

In the end I worked on my intentions when saying each phrase and I started exploring more with my voice by finding different ways of saying a word by changing the intonation.


Connections

As my two last entries, firstly I want to connect my work to myself. I think that this new character is taking me to a more challenging road. As Roberto said the other day, "Its easy to play a crazy person" and I personally want a character that is challenging to myself, a character that needs an internal response and different ways of achieving the character´s intentions. I have my personality clear but I still want to explore the different intentions and reactions I could have over the plot´s dilemma and be able to judge which proposal will work more effectively on the play. In terms of acting, this character is very different to what I usually do, but in terms of identity, this character is very similar to me. I consider myself a very nice and good person, mostly innocent. If my son was fired from his job, the last thing I would do is shout at him, I would help him and give him my support and understanding but let him know that what happened was not excellent. So, by getting into this position it is easier to create this character. But, the tricky thing is, how am I supposed to play a character that needs to be good but needs to make feel her son miserable? Its just contradictory. But I know I can handle it and find a way to explore both feelings within my character.

Also, I want to connect this week´s work with german expressionism theatre. As I said in my last entry, german expressionism is all about finding your deepest fears and dreams and using them as the fuel to create a character. I think that one of my deepest fears and dreams is being a mom. Of course I want to be a mom some day, but I am also freaked by the idea of being a mother. This could be useful to explore my character as I could use my thoughts of this idea in order to create a mother. Moreover, in terms of acting, german expressionism also contains physiological exaggerations and staccato movements so I am exploring ways of moving my fingers, which are my physiological exaggeration, with staccato movements and learning how to express my inner feelings through movements and gestures.

Reflections

I am going to answer some of my last entry questions within my reflections for this one. First of all this week I learn that despite feeling stressed over having to change some of my characterisations, I have to learn to be more open towards explorations. I need to be able to find different possibilities and proposals in order to find out which characteristic will work more effectively on the play. Also, when I started to work with Ana Lucia (the uncle), I learned that german expressionism works with intensity. You have to have contrast in the scenes and bring out the most intense part in you, so you need to explore one of your limits and if it does not get into an intense point you explore your other one

"The search of harmony and forms is not as important as trying to achieve the highest expression intensity, both from the aesthetic point of view and according to idea and human critics." 

This quote refers to idea of having your highest expression of intensity and it reinforces my idea of exploring both limits of yourself until you achieve the intensity needed.

I also think that most of the questions I did to myself are starting to be answered. Now I am starting to relate to theatre as a therapy as every time I connect with my character I found new things about myself and I reflect on them as I try to find the similarities and differences between me and the character. In this case, everything comes from me but I also need to put myself in situations and reflect on how would i react. Furthermore I think that we always connect to our characters, even if you don't notice. Also, I have this feeling of getting in touch with your character, you get attached to it, that is why sometimes we get mad or stressed when we change of character, because in some way you are happy and attached to your current character, but as I said before, Is a challenge to explore a new character from your own emotions and experiences. And now i really believe that theatre is always a way of being yourself as you get to spend time with you ;)

BUT....are we always able to recognise that we are being ourselves? when you compare yourself with your character, you are learning from yourself? Are we able to find the differences and similarities between us and our character even though we have some parts in ourselves that even we don´t recognise? Intensity is achievable by feelings or thoughts? Do we always have a limit that is intense? Can someone be neutral within intensity? will that even be intensity? how do i know i´m getting into my deepest fears and dreams? how can i know when its deep enough? am i overreacting when i am stressed about the change of characteristics? Will I be able to achieve my desired effect? are this new roads going to work? If they do, will I notice? or do I depend on what people say to me? am i doing things right because i believe it or because people believe it?

xoxo

TheatreGirl.

•